Healer Dude

That's my J.  He's a healer dude.  It's pretty cool. I like it when he calls me and tells me stories about seeing people healed.  Like the guy that had a stroke 2yrs ago that couldn't use his left leg so good...and then he walked away without his crutch.  Or the guy that had a fever, and 5 minutes later the fever is gone.  My personal favorite- the 8 year old boy who got poked in the eye by his little brother- eye is all bloodshot and red, after 2 prayers, perfectly fine.  

I"m really excited for all he's learning at Bethel.  And for all the nifty books he's readin', I'm not so sure how he feels about that! :-)

In May, he's trying to get to Ecuador, to see orphans that are healers too. And to just be a big hugger for those cute kiddos, and to visit dudes in prison....

If you wanna help him get there- you can!  Just visit here

He would be stoked! And so would I!! PS. You can take it off your taxes...
"Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy,^[a] drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give." Matthew 10:8

A Day in the Life...

Most people have been asking the same question of me lately, "Nashville! Why are you in Nashville?"



And so...I shall answer the 100million dollar question..... Because Jesus wants me there, to work mainly, but to do other things too...

But first the beginning...
A few months ago I was offered a job in Nashville, working for the same agency that I interned for last fall. But, I could never get the peace that I needed to move down and start to work. So I did what I hate to do, I waited. And I waited, and I waited. But somewhere in that waiting, God was slowly showing me that waiting doesn't just mean sitting in my room. Waiting means actively persuing what God is trying to show me. So after a few weeks of actively waiting, one night I got a phone call.
It was a wonderful friend that I met last year in Nashville. She was calling to offer me one of her bedrooms to stay in while I picked up some work...for free. She and her husband, and her 2 adorable boys, have graciously let me crash into their home for a few nights a week, so that I can work.



So that's it. I'm working in Nashville, a few days a week, AND I'm still able to come home most weekends to be involved in worship at church.
All in all- God's plan is WAY better than anything I could ever, think, hope or dream...but then again, He already told me it was....


Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

^"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone." James 4:14

Today is a sad day. But a day like today always reminds me that life truly is like a vapor. Here one minute and gone the next.  

A very good friend of mine said to me today, What's it all worth Hannah? We work and work, but we can't take it with us...what good is it? 
What good is life, if we don't point everyone we know in the direction of the One who Gives Life? Honestly, it's worth nothing.  A few years ago, I'm not sure I would have had an answer to that question. All I wanted in life was success and money.  But over the last year, I've learned that the ultimate calling and responsibility is for us to be so immersed in Jesus that He is what we work towards. He is the ultimate success. Being able to tell my friend, that we have to choose where we spend eternity, was one of the best minutes of this sad day.  He knows it, but sometimes we run from it.  

Life isn't about money.fame. fortune. Because in the end, you can't take it with you. Life is about showing a lost world, just who Jesus is. It's about being so in love with Him that He is all you desire.  In the end, it'll all work out. 

Life is a vapor. Here one minute and gone. Are you living so that your vapor of a life will impact someone else? Or are you living only for yourself?

Waiting...

As a soceity we hate to wait. Thus the invention of fast food, instant photos, and microwave popcorn. I also, find myself hating to wait, but often times it's the waiting that shows us the right path. 
A few weeks ago, I was faced with a decision to make and I felt no peace about it at all. After many hours of praying and crying I decided to wait. 

But then I learned that waiting doesn't mean sitting in the floor with your eyes closed listening. Waiting is a act.  Sounds like an oxy-moron... Actively waiting. But many times in life that is what God requires of us, to actively wait.  Thus often times we, as humans, try to make our own way instead of waiting on His perfect timing.  I am one of those people, and I stuggle with my waiting everyday.  I love to have a plan. In fact, on more than one occasion I have asked God to "drop me a line, letter or calendar". This would consist of knowing specific dates for important things like marriage, job opportunities, and when to talk about the hard things in life.  However, much as I have prayed and wished, my calendar or letter has never come.

Just recently I began to realize there will never be the perfect time. Someone will always have a judgement, opinion or statement about what you are to do. There will never be enough money, time or resources. But some how in God's time, the waiting is all worth it. 

I had a very good friend call me last night and offer something I will forever be indebted to her for. And today, after 2 missed calls I realized that God's timing is always perfection.  One call about a job that was not to be, immediately followed by a job that is so promising, I would be foolish not to go. And granted, the job takes me away, but not completely.  This is a flexible job-one that I will still be able to be involved and grow with. One that will push me to be better, for the next chapter in my life. 

So while I used to just wait for the audible voice, I now realize that actively waiting. And constant surrender is how God speaks.  Perhaps He just wanted to see if I would wait, and trust. And that I did, and will
continue to do...for the rest of my life.

"Our soul waits for the LORD;he is our help and our shield.For our heart is glad in him,because we trust in his holy name.Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,even as we hope in you." Psalms 33:20-22

my favorite sweater

Is black. and i bought it on sale. and it is glorious! I was very excited to get to finally wear it Tonight...
As i put it on i was thinking about all the places it had been.
It's amazing how one piece of clothing, or smell, or taste can take you back to so many Places.

I love this sweater, mainly because it gives me that cozy-everything-is-now-perfect feeling.
That feeling is just needed sometimes. and some days it says gee hann-you look awesome.

Some people in our lives make us feel that way too. my uncle jim is one of them. he has this Hug that just
Makes me wanna melt. and he always knows exactly what to say.

Fall is my favorite time of year, mainly because i get to dig out my favorite sweater. this year Is a new one.
And this season in my life, my sweater will probably get a lot of use. because there are just Some days,that
Are favorite sweater days.

Pruning...

Today is a lovely Sunday in the Southern Illinois. And to combat my extreme bordom, I decided to prune some of our bushes.

Pruning is something that none of us like to do, because for a while, it makes things look sad and neglected. But really pruning is more of a way to clear out the dead stuff so you can grow better.

I'm learning that this is what God is doing to me... I sat on the front row at church this morning and I couldn't hardly hold back my tears. But at the same time, while I was sad, I was also very excited because Jeffrey was at his first of many services at Bethel. When I got home, he called me-the excitement in his voice about talking about the service and what God is going to do, makes me more excited than sad!

I love that God loves me so much that He takes the time to prune me, branch by branch, limb by limb until I'm prefectly what He wants me to be.

Rainy Days and Goodbyes

I love rain. I truly do. It's one of those favorite thing. You know, the list of things in you head that makes you feel all happy inside. One of mine is rain, and fall. So with fall quickly approaching I am overly excited to be back home. Granted I'm sure DC is beau-tiful in the fall. Especially Georgetown and those awesome trees around Jefferson. But this year I'm glad to be home.

Fall is always the symbol of change. Leaves start to lose that green color, the grass starts to get crunchy and the smell of the air itself changes. Life itself seems to take on a new season as we start new things like classes and jobs. Gone are the carefree "dog days" of summer. Fall always makes me feel smarter and more alive.

This fall one of my favorite things has left. He moved. Yesterday. To California.
Yep. Sure did. So in my head the list of things that makes me happy has started to change like those maple leaves. No longer is-the movies with J on my list. Now it's-hearing J describe how God has prompted him to give up moves.
Talking to J in the car has been replaced with J talking to me while driving in the car.

Right now he's in Colorado and he called me to say how close the clouds felt and looked. Then he said- "I hope we can come back here because things are cool, but I know they'd be better with you, because things are always better with the one you love."

Pomp

On Saturday May 8th, I will walk across the stage at MacMurray College and fulfill my parents dream for me, or at least one of them, I will be a college graduate.
I'm not really sure what to think about it. I don't really feel any smarter, brighter, or wealthier.
I still feel like me. In fact, I think moving to DC had the most impact on helping me "grow up".
But even then, I don't feel anymore grown up than I did a few years ago.
Sure, I've checked a few more things off my To Do: list but there are lots of things left.
Like-find a job I love. Not so sure where it is-but it's out there. And I'm not so sure it's in interpreting, but I know that is some how an important part of it.
Or-Become a better packer. I've gotten a ton better at this since I've been in college.
Take a Road Trip-over 12 hours, no stopping to sleep.

I guess I might feel more grown up when I walk across the stage, but I doubt it.
I'm not really sure a piece of paper and a cap and gown make you a grown up.
I think it might be how you handle everyday situations.
Or when you're responsible for your own place to live, or when you get married.
Who knows...Not me.
All I know is who holds my future, and for now, well...forever, that's enough for me!

Came a Rain.

Today it came a rain. Yeah-"came a rain"-thats how my Gran says it! When I was in DC it rained a couple of times but never those warm spring rains that make everything 15times greener than they were before. I kept saying"when I get home I hope we get a good warm rain". Well today we got it!
It was over by 5 and the ditches infront of my house were flowing...so I jumped out of J's truck & did something I hadn't done in years. I threw in a stick & watched it make its way down the "river". For the next 30 minutes I told Jeffrey how I was the Champion Ditch Floater when I was little & he stayed outside & laughed at me as I reveled in my childhood.
That's just another thing I'm thankful for-Spring rains & flowing ditches. Although that made my dirt muddy so I couldn't put my toes in it...but soon... I'll have a whole blog about that.
Thanks God for good warm rains-flowin ditches-and boyfriends who don't care that I'm a little bit tomboy!

70 miles...

My whole life I've lived 5 minutes from the Kentucky border. Usually I pay no attenion when I'd cross the border to get gas or visit my Aunt. But today I crossed Kentucky on the other side & I've never been happier.
Over my right shoulder is the big U of K & in front of me is Louisville. Then there's a stretch of road that makes me both happy & sad. The long road home...Let me tell you when I cross that state line- I might just cry.
Because I know that on the West side of the Lincoln memorial there is a name carved just above a roman column & it says Illinois.
It was the state that made Lincoln great & its the state I call home.

The End.

Today is April the 18th. Today is my last day in the District.
This morning I got up & went into the city one last time. I visited George & sat leaning up against him & remembered...
I remembered a young country girl visiting D.C. for the first time. I remembered how Megan Wurtele & I opened the windows of our hotel room so we could "hear the city". I remembered vowing from that last day that I would come back.
I remembered the rejection when I didn't get accepted the first time. I remembered watching snow fall & knowing that my God had planned the snowfall just for me. I remembered wanting to give up & come home,but persevering.
I remembered the sad day when I realized that I was coming back to IL soon.

This morning I sat at the foot of George & I sang those same words that Mrs.P sang to us 5 years ago on a boat in the Potomac-"My Country 'Tis of Thee, Sweet land of Liberty of Thee I sing..."

And I remembered, that no matter where I am. He is always there too. And no matter what happens He has my best interest in mind. And I will forever trust in Him. Because the grass will wither, the flowers will fade- & eventually George will crumble...But the Word of my Lord will stand forever!

George.

This is George.

He's the first think I see when I get into my city.
And he's my favorite.

I think because I can usually see him from anywhere.
Today I got to see him for one of the last times in the daylight.
And he was glorious.
But a gentle reminder that my weeks here in my city are coming to a close.
It's a sad day, but also a scary, happy and nervous one.

I'll be paying George one more visit on my last day.
Because you just can't leave without saying goodbye.

4 years ago I didn't say goodbye, I said "I'll be back someday"
And I did.
I came back.
So who knows, maybe Sunday will be more of a "See ya later"rather than a GoodBye.

Everything....

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom
what God has done from beginning to end.

Spring has come and gone here in the District.
The Cherry Blossoms smelled and looked beautiful.
And the whole time I was looking at them I kept thinking that this was my last few weeks here.
As my last day of my internship approached I've never felt such peace.
One of my favorite teachers used to quote Micah 6:8 to us.
"And what doth the Lord require of you?
But to act justly and to love mercy
and walk humbly with your God."

All my life my parents have instilled within me that character is the greatest thing we can have.
On Friday, I sat across a desk from the President of a company who told me
that my character, attitude and personality were wonderful.
And that.
That was worth the heartache and the loneliness that I might have felt these 12 weeks.
So as I prepare to pack up and come home.
I am reminded that our inward heart reflects to our outward attitude.

And God has made everything beautiful in His time.

Dirt.

I love dirt. I do. I love it. Freshly plowed dirt that's cold and damp. The way it squishes between your toes, and the smell.
Ahh~the smell. That's almost as good as the squishing.
When I was little I spent my whole summer with my hands in dirt making mud pies. I decorated them with rocks and flowers.
Then when I got a little older I would spend springs with my Auntie Weezy. We would start out at the greenhouse-picking just the right flowers for the millions of pots at her house. She taught me how to make sure the plants were healthy. She always said it wasn't so much about if the flowers were blooming-but how green the leaves were. She taught me how to mix & match to make up a palate. Then we'd load up the car with flowers, potting soil and head off to the house. I'm sure we had to get an ice cream in there some where! We'd walk all over the hill and set out specific flowers in specific pots. Mixing the colors and heights. Then we'd plant. I can't explain how the dirt between my fingers felt-I didn't even mind that it got under my nails. We'd talk and plant. Always starting in the middle of the pot. Dig the holes~with our fingers~then put some water in and cover up the roots.
Everything I learned about flowers I learned from Weezy. Later, mom and I would go get flowers for our house. I got to do the picking and planting.
It's amazing how much you can learn from a Saturday spent with your aunts. As I got older, I got busier and Weezy started picking and planting her flowers without me.

This year I'm surrounded by concrete and asphalt, instead of fields and tractors. And I miss dirt. I miss the rawness of it. The pure excitement of digging my hands into a pot of dirt, just waiting for flowers. Wiggling my toes in a freshly plowed garden.

~But in a special little corner of Washington DC the Cherry Blossoms are bloomin'. For a few more weeks, I get to experience what people come from all over the world to experience. And those sweet Cherry Blossoms remind me of my Weezy and dirt.~

Two more Sleeps

Until he gets here. Technically until they *David is coming too* get here, but on of them is a little more exciting than the other.
Yup that's right. At 3:40 on Friday, a nice shiny Delta plane will arrive from St. Louis by way of Detroit and 2 of my favorite people will be on it. I can hardly contain my excitement.

The past two weeks have been very exciting ones. First- my twin, Dena got engaged, read about it here. Then she flew into DC to spend a relaxing weekend with me full of junk food,Big Bang Theory and wedding dresses. We found the Perfect dress for her, you can see it here. Did you really think I'd post it online? What kind of twin would I be if I did that! :)
And while I was sad that she had to leave me on Monday she kept saying "I have to go so Jeffrey can come".

In all truth-I didn't really miss Jeffrey that much. Ok. That's a lie-let me expound. I did miss him, some times more than others, but I didn't miss him to the point that I couldn't have fun without him.
I mean come on, I live a hop & skip from Washington DC-who has time to mope about not having their boyfriend around? Not this girl. And while some nights I missed him a 10(we like to use the number scale) I never missed him an 11 or even a 20-that would just be ridiculous. My momma & Micah always taught me to be independent. Living in DC gave me a chance to prove to them, and to myself that I can be. Yup-sure can. And I feel great about that. And proud.

But there are always times where you miss people. Like today-today I missed Micah a lot. I missed him talking to me, I missed the way we used to spend every weekend together. I just missed going to Weezy's house and him being here. So I just put him in my CD player and sang-then I didn't miss him so much anymore.

Quite frankly-I think I deserve some kind of prize. I have gone 12 weeks without seeing Jeffrey. 12 whole weeks-that's a record. But I do think it has given me a lack of sympathy. So if you miss your boyfriend after being separated for a week-don't come crying to me! Because I'll just tell you to buck up!


Bottom line is this- My family taught me to be independent. Jeffrey taught me that it's okay to depend on someone. I've been away from him for 12 weeks and on Friday he'll be here. I hope I remember what he looks like...

The Saturday Morning Blog

You know how there's always that one perfect person in your life that can make any day better? And you finished each others sentences, and people always see you together. You get so close to their families that you'll stop by anytime "just to say Hi" and they call you daughter and you call them mom or dad? And people always get the two of you mixed up and call you the wrong name, and hand you the others test papers? No? -Oh there for a minute you probably thought I was talking about about a guy! Haha!~ Nope. It's my Twin.

Confession-we're not actual twins. Shocking. I know! Dena and I met at John A. in the Interp'ing program, and before we knew it-the above was happening. We spent M-Th together-all day! Yup.

Well fast forward to now. We've both moved out of So. Il one of us to FLA(that's Florida for those of you who don't speak ASL) and the other to DC. A few months back I got to fly to FLA for Dena's graduation(thanks Momma Cathy and Daddy Donnie)..see what I mean*
Then when I got to come to DC my momma decided to fly Dena here for the weekend(thanks momma). And the rest they say is history!

The Sunday before she came Dena got engaged to a great guy named Andy. You can read all about him here. So perfect timing for the Twins to get to hang out and look at wedding stuff too.I met Dena at the airport, with this wonderful sign. And I had three guys offer to be my twin before she arrived. I said no. Because clearly they weren't my twin!

That was Thursday night, and after being in the airport for 30 minutes or so. *I forgot to pay for parking and I couldn't remember where I'd parked* We headed home, and I missed three exits in a row-because of all the talking we were doing! Ooopsie!
I'm sure more stories will follow, but that's another blog. We're off to the National Kite Festival!

ME THANK-GOD FOR-FOR D-E-N-A TWO OF US BEST-FRIENDS ALWAYS

Step-Child

I am getting paid a relatively good amount of money to sit and do nothing, all because one person decided that I'm not good at my job. Thanks! I mean I could be out slaving around, interpreting boring meetings and trainings, but I'm not. I'm sitting at an office-in the AC looking for a great present for one of my besties. And you know what? The Bible tells me to "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." So while I could be out-increasing my chances of possibly getting carpel tunnel-I'm sitting here reading my Bible and my Jesus books*those are my books that have something to with Christianity and I do so love it when people ask"What are you reading?" Because then I can say-"well actually..." *

So I'm going to continue "counting all my joy" when I have to go to the office. Because-this is the best paid vacation I've ever been on!

I have 11 days of work;two 4 day weekends and 1 full week of site seeing left in my city. I'm really going to miss it-but some days I'd give the Washington Monument for some fresh dirt *and I really love George ;) *

Dads

So. This weekend eventful, to say the least. First-my daddy came to visit me. Lots of fun. Not a lot of talking :) But lots of fun! Saturday we slept in(a must) then headed off to the Native American History Museum, saw a political protest, two bloomin' cherry trees and sampled the goods at Eastern Market.*We had smoothies*
Sunday, we slept in (notice a pattern?) and then we headed on across the big Chesapeake Bay Bridge to eat de-licious crab, flounder, and scallops.*Jealous yet?* Yeah. I know ;)
Then to the outlet mall, where dad graciously followed me into every store and bought me a Raspberry Truffle. Then back across the bridge, we stopped off at a huge tackle store. Dad bought some lures(with hooks) and proceeded to explain to me how he expected to just "carry them on the airplane". Yeah. I'm gonna mail them!

But mostly we've been just hangin' and going to Whole Foods. And he even cleaned up my apartment today.

Dads sure are cool. Earthly ones and Heavenly ones. And as my earthly Daddy sits and reads the paper next to me, I'm really thankful to my heavenly Father for picking him for me.

BitterSweet.

Oxymoron. BitterSweet. I don't know anything that is bitter and sweet. Most things are more of one than the other.
Like- realizing that 12 weeks in the city of your dreams is about to come to a close-Bitter. Having one last summer with all your childhood friends, and having two besties get married-Sweet.
Bitter-Going through culture shock when you go back to farm country. Sweet- Going to farm country where they have freshly plowed dirt.
These last few weeks have been a mix of BitterSweet moments. First I was just Bitter, but now I'm trying to find the Sweet. I know that God knows WAY more than I could ever pretend to understand. So I just let Him show me the Bitter and the Sweet. I'm not really sure of anything past tomorrow, and I think that's how God wants it.
Now each time I go out I try and soak up all I can. Today, I sat on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and just listened. I listened to the sounds of the city-Sweet. Realizing that I won't be about to walk out my front door, and see the monuments-Bitter.
I've been mentally compiling a list in my head-everything I do seems to be BitterSweet.

All in all- no matter how Sweet or Bitter, God always has our best interest in mind, and He always shows us the Sweet for the Bitter.

Time of your life...

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Prov. 3:3-6

"This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant." Galatians 1:10

These have been the reason I got up every day this week. In my 22 years, I have had bad weeks...but this week takes the cake. And in this "worst week of my life" I have never clung to God more. Ok. So at first I cried, but never once did I cry out and blame God. Believe me-that tends to be my first reaction.
Personally I blame last weeks sermon about Suffering for jinxing my week! :) Not really, in fact reading Job last month-really helped me. Last Sunday I learned that there are three reasons for suffering. 1.Sin. 2.Spiritual Attack. 3.Test.
I haven't quite figured out what this weeks suffering was about, but I'm leaning toward number 3.
I'm sure by now you're wondering just what happened this week...well I'll give you the short version. This week I got told that I'm not good at what I do. That certain people aren't sure I can get better. And that if things don't improve, I might want to consider something else. Yeah. That hurt-a lot. And after I cried. I opened my Bible and read Prov. 3...so on what was the worst day of the week-I knew that I needed to show kindness and that my God would direct my path.
Then after that- I read that I needed to be strong and courageous. Then my dad, send me a text that told me as long as I pleased God. That was all that mattered.

So on the worst week I've had so far, as I sit in my apartment. I'm ready. I'm ready to face my hardest critics;I'm ready to only worry about pleasing my God; and I'm ready to be strong and courageous.

I'm also ready to "fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Phil. 4:8

This weeks theme song...
I'm hoping we'll sing it at church we I get back and by we, I mean Megan and I!

The lonely times...

It took me 4 hours to do laundry tonight.Yup. 4 whole hours. Normally it takes me an hour and a half to do my usual 2 loads. Why you ask,did it take 4... Well, because I got busy watching The Ramp online.

Normally I would have been there live, but not this time. And for the first time in a while-I felt lonely. I sat in my living room floor interpreting Damon's message and wondering what Jeffrey was thinking about it. I could just see us sitting beside each other~Me furiously taking notes, and him tapping my leg when he wanted to make sure I wrote something down. We have a pretty good system. I take pages of notes-He takes maybe 1/2 a page...

Then towards the end I was earnestly starring at the screen to see if that bald head I saw was his-it wasn't. But I realized that no matter how happy you are, somethings will still always make you miss home. Maybe it's a smell, or the way going shopping by yourself just isn't the same. Maybe it's wanting to be forced to switch back and forth between SportsCenter and Grey's Anatomy. Maybe it's reading something and immediately wanting to pull out the concordance-but realizing that you don't actually OWN the concordance-He does.

Growing up is crazy hard. Being apart from people you love is super crazy hard. Finding your place in the world is harder than I could have ever believed. I feel like I'd like to have my entire life story laid out in a nice neat book. But lately, I feel like I'm getting a sentence at a time. But I suppose that's all I need.

So here I am. In a bit of a lonely time. But I feel that in a year-things will be different. Lonely won't follow me around forever. A wise man once told me that this time would be lonely, but when I finished I'd know some things beyond a shadow of a doubt. So each time lonely comes-I just stop and ask God what He's trying to tell me. And then I get it- one sentence at a time...

Tulips and Izzies

Ever notice how flowers just make your day better. When you put them in a vase and wake up the next morning, and say "oh hello beautiful bright flowers!" I bought these tulips from the grocery yesterday. When I got them they were a bit droopy. So I put them in nice cold water. Then I went to bed. When I woke up today, they were much perkier. Then when I got home from work, I realized they were not droopy anymore, they were standing up straight-as straight as tulips stand-
Then I remembered this cool passage I'd read while I was at work. Yup. I get paid to sit and read books sometimes...I know. It's such a blessing!

The book is called "Primal" it was written by the pastor of the church I go to now...www.theaterchurch.com
He was talking about how as Christians we are constantly asking to "be fed". And if we feel we aren't getting fed, we stop going to that church or Bible study. Then he said this. "My kids starting feeding themselves when they were toddlers."
Ouch! I've been around quite a few kiddos in my life. Some of them eat table food earlier than others, but eventually they all takeover and feed themselves. We are responsible for "Feeding off the Word". Just like my tulips- I gave them the "food", but they had to drink it up and soak it in. Then instead of being droopy they stood tall and are about to bloom.
How much more would we be able to stand tall for Jesus if we fed ourselves from the Word, instead of just solely relying on our pastors and worship leaders to feed us on Sundays.

I'm talking to me too! I realized today that every day we should be looking for that one person God's placed in our path to witness too. I like days where I get to read my Christian books at work, and people always say, "Hey, what'cha reading?" Well actually.... It's a great witnessing tool. And I decided today, that no matter what people might say about me to my back- when I'm facing them, I want to be "full enough" to say This is whom I have believed in-His name is Jesus and He can give you the best life you've imagined.

That life definitely includes Pink Tulips and Pomegranate Izzies!~

City.

Today I realized that I'm getting a little "City Spoiled".
Definition~ When you realize that going for groceries only means a 45 minute trip-total. Drive time included.
When the movies are a block away and you can get a milkshake right next door. Having an Ann Taylor and New York &Co. less than 5 minutes away! Oh the city sure is sweet!

Mommy Week

This week was full of my momma. She visited from last Friday until this Sunday, and what fun we had...
Opening Ceremonies.Pairs Figure Skating. Men's Figure Skating. Snow Boarding. Veggie Soup. Museum of Natural History. Chicken Casserole. Walks to the grocery. Milk. Cupcakes.(which turned my hands red!) Shopping trip. The 2nd longest escalator in the world. (mom did that one by herself, you should ask her about it) Georgetown. Georgetown Cupcake. Church(twice). A spattering of more Olympic events and lots of laughing!
We also got to see the "most beautiful room in Washington"...The main reading room of the Library of Congress! It was too beautiful for words...

Valentine's Day

"God is love."

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. And that that is, according to my twin, simply a holiday created by greeting card companies and Wal-mart to sell things! And she has lived by that for a while-never celebrating Valentine's Day, but quietly tolerating anyone who did. But this year is different. You see for the first time since I've known her Dena is celebrating Valentine's Day. Today she was out searching for the prefect shoes to wear with her perfect dress on her perfect Valentine's Day date tomorrow night. So why you ask is this year different? Because, I think, Dena finally understands that God IS Love. Truly. And because she chose to believe that Jesus loves us no matter what, and that He always wants what's best for us. She now has a great guy who loves her back. They both understand that God is love...

This year I'm 12 hours from the guy I normally spend Valentine's Day with. And I'm gonna be alright. Except for a little bit tonight when I left the movies. For 6 years when the movies are finished I hear, "There's no reason to get in a hurry." Tonight I didn't hear that. And for the first time in 6 years I was one of the first people out of the theater. And I missed him. And I cried. It's the simple things that I miss the most. But I do know that he understands as do I that God is love; and that if we truly love God as He loved us, everything will be alright. When I found out that what God has called us both to do would probably separate us for a while. I struggled to understand why. And then I came across this, " Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." The true love that God gives us, never gives up. It waits for the perfect time that God has planned for us...

So this Valentine's Day. The love that God gives is perfection. It restores our faith in others. It shows us that even the simplest things have meaning. And even if Valentine's Day was created by Hershey's to sell more "kisses"...if we truly understand the meaning behind God's love. He will always show us that perfect person to restore our faith...

~~Happy Valentine's Day~~
1 John 4:8
1 Corinthians 13:7

This is Noah.

This is Noah. He's is 3. Noah is Jeffrey's newest nephew, but not for long. You see Noah's mommy has a dream, to have lots of little children. But kind of like Hannah in the Bible, she couldn't. She had Noah, and we all love him. Well...he's warming up to me-we made Jesus a birthday cake at Christmas and now we're good friends. For a little while Noah's mommy was sad. And we are were too. She told me today that her sadness consumed her. We all noticed that she was sad, but we didn't know what to do. One night at church God told me to go pray for her. But I didn't. I wasn't very close to her at the time. I felt like she didn't need me. But finally after hearing it every time I saw her I finally did. I prayed that God would bring Noah's mommy a baby, even if it wasn't her's biologically and I told God that the whole family would love this new baby.
Well, we've been waiting and just the other day we heard some good news. There was a girl who loved a baby so much that even though she didn't want to raise it, she decided to let it grow inside her and then give it away for some one else to love. Well God had given Noah's mommy some really good Dr. friends, and they talked to that girl and Noah's mommy. Noah's mommy wrote a letter to the girl and told her all about how everyone of us love that baby that's growing inside of her. But that girl wasn't sure she wanted to know who was going to love that baby.
So Noah's mommy was kind-of sad, but she just kept Delighting herself in Jesus. Then this morning, I got a text message. Jesus had spoken to that girls heart, she might not know it yet-but I do, and she decided that she wanted that baby inside of her to be loved by Noah's mommy and daddy. Noah's mommy had to tell some one, and I was the first to know!! The funny thing is, that this morning I felt like I was suppose to call Noah's mommy and remind her to Delight herself in Jesus. But she didn't need me, because she had already realized that Jesus had everything in control. And that's what Jesus did. Because Noah's mommy was delighted in Jesus-even when she could have been sad- she is going to be a mommy again in April!!

All of us are very excited, but not just because Noah is getting a new brother or sister, but because Jesus loves us so much that when we are truly delighted with Him-He gives us good gifts. I hope that one day I can meet that girl who chose to let Noah's new sibling grow inside her and I can tell her how much she helped this family even though she doesn't know it. Because you see, this baby has taught me that if we believe and act on what God speaks to our heart-eventually He will use it. I'd like to think that my prayer for Noah's mommy was the turning point in this story,but it probably isn't. Either way this baby, even though we haven't met, has helped bring me and Noah's mommy closer together!! Now we are like sisters, where before we weren't. I can't contain my happiness-so I wanted to share it with you!

Jesus delights in us when we Delight in Him!

-Psalms 139:14 "I will Praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;Marvelous are Thy works, that my soul knoweth right well."

No Salt?

So. Apparently this area of the country where I live now-DC :) I just love saying that! Doesn't understand the concept of pre-salting the roads. Where I come from the minute there is snow in the forecast, and by that I mean 5hours later, the big snow plows are going up and down the roads dumping salt all over creation. Not here. Apparently they don't even budget for it!
Imagine my surprise when I learned this on the Metro this morning! Then after I get home from work I see one lonely little snow truck. And I'm thinking...why are you out you don't have any salt!?

Poor snow truck man, you can't take any preventative measures-you just have to wait for the bad stuff to come.
So, if we are the salt of the earth does this mean we can take preventative measures to save people from becoming stuck in the snow?

Today I met a new interpreter and in the course of our 30 minute discussion she was using some what I'll call "common curse words". Not that they're common for me, but you usually hear them in casual conversation. All of a sudden she stops and says "Oh, I'm sorry, I should probably stop saying that".
I hadn't said anything to her. Not one word. But was the preventative salt that I have in my life rubbing off on her? I'd like to think so. I'd like to think that people like me, but can't quite figure out why I'm so different. I like those moments in life where I can say, here's some salt...you might need it. And if you decided that you do, I'm here to talk.

Jesus shines through us everyday if we'd only let Him. So tomorrow while you're thinking of that lonely snow truck with no salt, let your life be salty enough to rub off on someone else.

Glorious White Coldness...

Today I woke up to a beautiful sight, snow!! I thought we were only suppose to get a "dusting",not so! So after consulting with my new friend Bryan, I got up, got ready and we headed into the city. All we wanted to do was see it in the snow. Words don't describe the feeling when I stepped on the National Mall and saw white everywhere! There have been times where I can't believe I'm actually here and today was one of those moments. It was breathtaking. Later that afternoon Bryan and I went our separate ways.
After going to Arlington, just to see what it looked like, and back up into the city to do a little shopping. I decided to walk up to the White House.

And then, as I was staring at one of the most recognizable houses in the world- covered in a blanket of perfect snow. Each snowflake unique and unlike the other I heard that whisper again. It said, "And my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory."

I could nothing but smile as I walked back toward the metro with my Caramel Apple Spice in hand. My God loves me so much that He crafted billions of individual unique snowflakes and blanketed Washington DC with them. He loves me so much, that He knew that I needed to be accepted in the Spring semester, so that I could see the city covered in snow. He crafted this perfect snowfall months, maybe even years in advance, so that I would have great memories about walking though this city in the snow. He supplies all my needs, even ones that stem from me just loving two things-snow and Washington.

"And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory." Philippians 4:19

Just do It!

Ever do something you think you could never do? Like wear red lipstick, or finish a 1000 piece puzzle...Or maybe you baked a killer good cake from scratch...buy that pair of shoes with the killer high heels...

Well today I accomplished something I thought I would never do-I drove on the Beltway in rush hour traffic! For those of you who don't know, the Beltway is the interstate that goes around DC and is always backed up at rush hour. Well today, I drove with all the Washingtonians, Virginians and Marylanders! And if that wasn't enough, after work I drove down town DC in rush hour! I tell you what, I am definitely becoming accustomed to living in the big city. I just haven't tacked the big city shopping yet, I'm leaving that for pay day!!

So go ahead...do something you didn't think you could do. Learn to say your phone number backwards, wear those high heels to work, or learn to make candles from beeswax. Anything is possible!

Romans 5:3

Delightful

Psalms 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of you heart."

This weekend was amazing... As I walked around in the city I have always longed to live in, I was amazed that God would choose to give me what I had longed for since I was 17. Sometimes I think we forget that God loves us more than we could ever fathom. I spent Saturday exploring the National Gallery of Art, and walking around DC-every few minutes I would stop and look around in awe that I actually lived here. Here. In Washington DC. Here. Where God has put me for some reason that I don't really yet comprehend.

As I left church on Saturday night, I found myself singing and once again in awe. Delight yourself. I just kept hearing that over and over. Saturday seemed like a great day to be delightful.

Before I left to come to DC a wonderful woman of God at church took me by the hand and said that God was delighted in me... What?! God loved me so much that because I was delighted in Him-He was delighted in me.

I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I will be delightful. Even though I sometimes miss home- I will continue to delight myself in Him, because He loves me more than I can understand~

Laundry Room

When I was little I used to sit in the back seat of my mom's Astro Van*woop* and sing made up songs to Jesus. I'd sing about the stars and how pretty they were, I would sing every night on the way home from church. (I remember this distinctly, if you don't believe me ask my momma)

So while I'm in the laundry room, sitting on a table, I come across this scripture.
Isaiah 55:12"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace;the mountains and hills will burst into song before you,and all the trees of the field will clap their hands."

And I start to sing, you know the song that we sang in church since we've been kids...Yeah, that one! So in the laundry room on Friday night, I began to praise Jesus.
Then I sat to read again*by this time my clothes are in the dryer* and I started singing a random made up song.
I was amazed...
But since I have been 13 or 14 I stopped singing or even writing songs. For months now I've been praying that I would be able to start that again. But nothing...Imagine my surprise in the laundry room when words just began to flow out of my mouth.

FYI- Jeffrey is very much convinced that I need to sing-or do something with worship,I'm praying about that too. But I thought, wow God- really, in the laundry room?

But then I remember that the whole premise of that verse, is that if we don't praise Him the rocks will cry out. So maybe I'll be like Annie Hawks and write songs while I do housework. Don't know who she is? She wrote one of my most favorite Hymns...
"I need thee every hour, most gracious Lord;no tender voice like Thine can Peace afford.
I need Thee, oh I need Thee, every hour I need Thee Oh Bless me now my Savior; I come to Thee."

Untitled

So sometimes, I randomly burst into tears. Fact. True fact.
Sometimes I can just be talking to someone and I start to cry. More often I'm listening to the radio, hear a song I love and then Boom-Tears. Always accompanied by Holy Ghost Goosebumps.
And it's times when I feel that way that I am thankful for a soft heart.
The song that makes me cry every time, has now become my anthem...

"Sometimes the way is lonely it's steep and filled with pain, so if your sky is dark and pours the rain...Cry to Jesus, Cry to Jesus...and Live"
So that's what I'm doing...when I feel sad I put this song on and I dance and I cry. Then I dance some more~because the next part of the song is my favorite. "When the love spills over and music fills the night, and when you can't contain your joy inside~dance for Jesus and live..."
So don't be afraid to cry, or dance because as long as its for Jesus, everything will workout...

Fly to Jesus, Fly to Jesus, Fly to Jesus and Live!!!

Ode to the Boy

Ever get that sinking feeling when you miss something or someone? It feels like your heart is so heavy that its going to fall through into your stomach. And your chest gets tight, so that you can barely breath, blinking back tears you silently say to yourself-just a little longer.

Just a little longer until I feel like I'm where I'm suppose to be. Just a little longer until everything I wanted falls into place. Just a little longer.

The Bible tells us that Love suffers long, and is kind. Suffers long? That means it is patient right? Love. Is patient. Even when it doesn't feel like it.

Jeffrey genuinely loved it when I told him I was blogging last night. He makes me laugh from the deepest parts of me. And he suffers long. One of my favorite "Jeffreyisms" is that love is not an emotion.
What?! Not an emotion? But then I think about it. Love is truly something that you have to work at. So if love isn't an emotion, if you have to work at it, and if love is patient, then we have to work at being patient.

Everyone asks, "how does your boyfriend feel about you moving to DC?" I always answer~he doesn't care, he just wants me to do what makes me happy. But the truth is that God has given Jeffrey an innate ability to understand that love is long suffering.
So when I feel that deep down heavy feeling, I just call him and he makes me laugh, then it's gone. And when I can't handle it anymore, sometimes I just call and cry and he listens and calls me a "trooper". Then I remember that I'm not the only one who is having a hard time...and I ask God to help me learn to love and suffer long.

LOVE SUFFERS LONG AND IS KIND. 1Corinthians 13:8

And then there was a whisper...

Last night while I was doing what Jeffrey calls "speed reading" for his message on Sunday, I came across a wonderful little passage in 1st Kings.

Basically Elijah was running from that terrible King Ahab, so he runs to the mountains. While he's in this(what I imagine to be) a cramped little cave-alone...
God tells him to get ready because He is about to drop by.~My words, not His~
Then Elijah waits-first there is a huge wind, but the Lord was not in the wind.
Then there is an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earth quake.
Then comes the fire-but the Lord was not in the fire.
After the fire-there is a small whisper.
~In the Whisper~The Lord was there~

After crying for a little while, I finally realized that in the hustle and bustle of the city, lots of people look for the earthquakes, winds, and fire to realize that God is around.
But if we just stop and listen, really He's in the still small whispers. Sometimes He's in a reassuring email, or in a text message, or sometimes He's in an encouraging word.
Point is- we just have to listen!

This morning I thought I was ready to come home-I even thought about calling the internship and telling them I couldn't make it, but I knew my mom would kill me!
So I sucked it up and went in..

While I was sitting at a conference table, listening to the HR guy talk about tax forms~I heard it...the whisper.
Then again when I got to tell people that it was God who called me to be an interpreter~I heard it again, but louder.
And tonight while I'm sitting in my little apartment, writing and anticipating my day tomorrow, I can hear it again.

The still small whispers are what get us through, I an thankful that God doesn't come at us in big earthquakes, or fires~I'm thankful for His whispers that remind us we're right where He wants us to be.

First Day

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life." I've heard that so many times, in movies and just in conversation. When does our life start? When we're born? When we graduate? When we fall in love? When we get married? When we love our job?...

Today marked the first day I was in Washington DC without my mom. We came out here last week Tuesday, I on Tuesday night I was more than ready to give up and come home! Now one week, many tearful breakdowns, and one lease signing later...I'm here and I'm staying!
Is today the first day of the rest of my life?? Maybe, but I think that day came a long time ago...

Stay tuned for my exciting adventures as I learn to be on my own, pay my own bills, hear from God, and try to manage living in the city!