Waiting...

As a soceity we hate to wait. Thus the invention of fast food, instant photos, and microwave popcorn. I also, find myself hating to wait, but often times it's the waiting that shows us the right path. 
A few weeks ago, I was faced with a decision to make and I felt no peace about it at all. After many hours of praying and crying I decided to wait. 

But then I learned that waiting doesn't mean sitting in the floor with your eyes closed listening. Waiting is a act.  Sounds like an oxy-moron... Actively waiting. But many times in life that is what God requires of us, to actively wait.  Thus often times we, as humans, try to make our own way instead of waiting on His perfect timing.  I am one of those people, and I stuggle with my waiting everyday.  I love to have a plan. In fact, on more than one occasion I have asked God to "drop me a line, letter or calendar". This would consist of knowing specific dates for important things like marriage, job opportunities, and when to talk about the hard things in life.  However, much as I have prayed and wished, my calendar or letter has never come.

Just recently I began to realize there will never be the perfect time. Someone will always have a judgement, opinion or statement about what you are to do. There will never be enough money, time or resources. But some how in God's time, the waiting is all worth it. 

I had a very good friend call me last night and offer something I will forever be indebted to her for. And today, after 2 missed calls I realized that God's timing is always perfection.  One call about a job that was not to be, immediately followed by a job that is so promising, I would be foolish not to go. And granted, the job takes me away, but not completely.  This is a flexible job-one that I will still be able to be involved and grow with. One that will push me to be better, for the next chapter in my life. 

So while I used to just wait for the audible voice, I now realize that actively waiting. And constant surrender is how God speaks.  Perhaps He just wanted to see if I would wait, and trust. And that I did, and will
continue to do...for the rest of my life.

"Our soul waits for the LORD;he is our help and our shield.For our heart is glad in him,because we trust in his holy name.Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,even as we hope in you." Psalms 33:20-22