It took me 4 hours to do laundry tonight.Yup. 4 whole hours. Normally it takes me an hour and a half to do my usual 2 loads. Why you ask,did it take 4... Well, because I got busy watching The Ramp online.
Normally I would have been there live, but not this time. And for the first time in a while-I felt lonely. I sat in my living room floor interpreting Damon's message and wondering what Jeffrey was thinking about it. I could just see us sitting beside each other~Me furiously taking notes, and him tapping my leg when he wanted to make sure I wrote something down. We have a pretty good system. I take pages of notes-He takes maybe 1/2 a page...
Then towards the end I was earnestly starring at the screen to see if that bald head I saw was his-it wasn't. But I realized that no matter how happy you are, somethings will still always make you miss home. Maybe it's a smell, or the way going shopping by yourself just isn't the same. Maybe it's wanting to be forced to switch back and forth between SportsCenter and Grey's Anatomy. Maybe it's reading something and immediately wanting to pull out the concordance-but realizing that you don't actually OWN the concordance-He does.
Growing up is crazy hard. Being apart from people you love is super crazy hard. Finding your place in the world is harder than I could have ever believed. I feel like I'd like to have my entire life story laid out in a nice neat book. But lately, I feel like I'm getting a sentence at a time. But I suppose that's all I need.
So here I am. In a bit of a lonely time. But I feel that in a year-things will be different. Lonely won't follow me around forever. A wise man once told me that this time would be lonely, but when I finished I'd know some things beyond a shadow of a doubt. So each time lonely comes-I just stop and ask God what He's trying to tell me. And then I get it- one sentence at a time...
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