Time of your life...

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Prov. 3:3-6

"This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant." Galatians 1:10

These have been the reason I got up every day this week. In my 22 years, I have had bad weeks...but this week takes the cake. And in this "worst week of my life" I have never clung to God more. Ok. So at first I cried, but never once did I cry out and blame God. Believe me-that tends to be my first reaction.
Personally I blame last weeks sermon about Suffering for jinxing my week! :) Not really, in fact reading Job last month-really helped me. Last Sunday I learned that there are three reasons for suffering. 1.Sin. 2.Spiritual Attack. 3.Test.
I haven't quite figured out what this weeks suffering was about, but I'm leaning toward number 3.
I'm sure by now you're wondering just what happened this week...well I'll give you the short version. This week I got told that I'm not good at what I do. That certain people aren't sure I can get better. And that if things don't improve, I might want to consider something else. Yeah. That hurt-a lot. And after I cried. I opened my Bible and read Prov. 3...so on what was the worst day of the week-I knew that I needed to show kindness and that my God would direct my path.
Then after that- I read that I needed to be strong and courageous. Then my dad, send me a text that told me as long as I pleased God. That was all that mattered.

So on the worst week I've had so far, as I sit in my apartment. I'm ready. I'm ready to face my hardest critics;I'm ready to only worry about pleasing my God; and I'm ready to be strong and courageous.

I'm also ready to "fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Phil. 4:8

This weeks theme song...
I'm hoping we'll sing it at church we I get back and by we, I mean Megan and I!

The lonely times...

It took me 4 hours to do laundry tonight.Yup. 4 whole hours. Normally it takes me an hour and a half to do my usual 2 loads. Why you ask,did it take 4... Well, because I got busy watching The Ramp online.

Normally I would have been there live, but not this time. And for the first time in a while-I felt lonely. I sat in my living room floor interpreting Damon's message and wondering what Jeffrey was thinking about it. I could just see us sitting beside each other~Me furiously taking notes, and him tapping my leg when he wanted to make sure I wrote something down. We have a pretty good system. I take pages of notes-He takes maybe 1/2 a page...

Then towards the end I was earnestly starring at the screen to see if that bald head I saw was his-it wasn't. But I realized that no matter how happy you are, somethings will still always make you miss home. Maybe it's a smell, or the way going shopping by yourself just isn't the same. Maybe it's wanting to be forced to switch back and forth between SportsCenter and Grey's Anatomy. Maybe it's reading something and immediately wanting to pull out the concordance-but realizing that you don't actually OWN the concordance-He does.

Growing up is crazy hard. Being apart from people you love is super crazy hard. Finding your place in the world is harder than I could have ever believed. I feel like I'd like to have my entire life story laid out in a nice neat book. But lately, I feel like I'm getting a sentence at a time. But I suppose that's all I need.

So here I am. In a bit of a lonely time. But I feel that in a year-things will be different. Lonely won't follow me around forever. A wise man once told me that this time would be lonely, but when I finished I'd know some things beyond a shadow of a doubt. So each time lonely comes-I just stop and ask God what He's trying to tell me. And then I get it- one sentence at a time...

Tulips and Izzies

Ever notice how flowers just make your day better. When you put them in a vase and wake up the next morning, and say "oh hello beautiful bright flowers!" I bought these tulips from the grocery yesterday. When I got them they were a bit droopy. So I put them in nice cold water. Then I went to bed. When I woke up today, they were much perkier. Then when I got home from work, I realized they were not droopy anymore, they were standing up straight-as straight as tulips stand-
Then I remembered this cool passage I'd read while I was at work. Yup. I get paid to sit and read books sometimes...I know. It's such a blessing!

The book is called "Primal" it was written by the pastor of the church I go to now...www.theaterchurch.com
He was talking about how as Christians we are constantly asking to "be fed". And if we feel we aren't getting fed, we stop going to that church or Bible study. Then he said this. "My kids starting feeding themselves when they were toddlers."
Ouch! I've been around quite a few kiddos in my life. Some of them eat table food earlier than others, but eventually they all takeover and feed themselves. We are responsible for "Feeding off the Word". Just like my tulips- I gave them the "food", but they had to drink it up and soak it in. Then instead of being droopy they stood tall and are about to bloom.
How much more would we be able to stand tall for Jesus if we fed ourselves from the Word, instead of just solely relying on our pastors and worship leaders to feed us on Sundays.

I'm talking to me too! I realized today that every day we should be looking for that one person God's placed in our path to witness too. I like days where I get to read my Christian books at work, and people always say, "Hey, what'cha reading?" Well actually.... It's a great witnessing tool. And I decided today, that no matter what people might say about me to my back- when I'm facing them, I want to be "full enough" to say This is whom I have believed in-His name is Jesus and He can give you the best life you've imagined.

That life definitely includes Pink Tulips and Pomegranate Izzies!~

City.

Today I realized that I'm getting a little "City Spoiled".
Definition~ When you realize that going for groceries only means a 45 minute trip-total. Drive time included.
When the movies are a block away and you can get a milkshake right next door. Having an Ann Taylor and New York &Co. less than 5 minutes away! Oh the city sure is sweet!