On the last day of my internship I squared my shoulders and stood tall on my last interpreting assignment, at the end she said, "if you had done that all along I would have told them to hire you, but you didn't, sorry." Those might not have been her exact words, but the damage was done.
I was defeated. No one could save me. Except for Sam, or Momma Sam as we called her in Nashville. I went home, gathered my things and drove to her office in Franklin, TN. I sat there and told her all about DC. I cried, she cried. Then she started putting the pieces back together. She spoke life into my dying heart. I interpreted with her in Nashville just long enough not to be completely broken. Then life moved on, I got a full-time gig in Paducah and then we got married and I moved to Cali.
And then the brokenness crept in- truth be told, it never fully went away. Looking back, I needed more time with Momma Sam, hind sight is 20/20,no?
When we moved, I convinced myself and J that I needed a break from interpreting. My heart and head was too hurt to start over. So for the past 7 months I've worked another job ignoring the longing for silence and communication at the same time.
Until today. Today I met with an interpreter here in Fresno. And though she doesn't know it, Momma Sam saved me again. This Fresno interpreter asked me about my experiences and I told her about Sam. Turns out that Momma Sam's performance interpreting workshop almost made its way here last year. Turns out one of the people that could potentially be my employer loves Momma Sam's work. Turns out that could help me get my foot in the door, it's all about who you know ;-)
Once again, my faith in humanity has been restored. Once again Momma Sam had something to do with it.
I might still be a little chipped, but I'm not broken anymore and I'm on my way to being made whole. One sign at a time.