Log in your eye, speck in mine...

Remember that parable that Jesus told about how some people notice specks in other people's eyes, but not the log in their own? I think He was trying to make the point that we should worry about ourselves first, then help others find their way. Which is sometimes... most of the time...always, hard to do. We are so consumed about what "they" are doing, or how "the world" makes us look, to be concerned about our own lives.
Last night as I laid awake in bed,( I have a job interview in a few hours...more about that later!) I began to think about how the church is so up in arms about the repeal of DOMA and Prop 8 here in Cali. Before we moved out here a lot of people spoke horrible things about my new state, something I wish they would stop doing because of how "liberal" it seemed.
But last night as I thought of all the things that most mainstream Christians would say are going wrong with the world I was reminded of the horrible things that happen IN the church.
We have pastors who are adulterers, gamblers. Leaders who are addicted to porn, alcohol, and food. Yeah, I said food... :-0  Elders who have eating disorders and some who struggle with homosexual tendencies.
We are a congregation who for the most part, hides these sins until someone finds out the truth and then we have to come clean to our congregation, and sometimes to the world. But yet we blatantly talk about how horrible the homosexual community is.  How they are ruining what we deem to be the right things in this world. How about we as a church community wake up and start living like we want 'the world' to live? How about we start being real? Telling the truth? What would happen then? If instead of pretending we are perfect, but still being plagued by all of our hidden sins we understood that the Grace of God, means the power to do things you thought you couldn't? What if we lived that way? Then would people feel more loved? More empowered to see God? More worthy of the love He has given them?

I'm not just talking to the choir here, I'm talking to myself and my husband and our friends.  I'm talking about living in a way that makes people WANT to know what sets you apart. I believe that it's the "kindness of God that leads people to repentance". But we aren't being very kind when we pretend to have it all together, only to bring the hurting into our community and then finally tell them the truth about our "real" lives.
You can't really love some one if you're not truthful to them. Because that in itself isn't loving. Love is telling the truth. Love is Kindness. Kindness leads to Repentance and Repentance to the Understanding that God Loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, and that the Grace of God helps you become exactly who HE wants you to be. Period.
This is the only way people want to be like us. Because the world has enough closet gamblers, porn addicts and eating disorders. What they need is a church who will be real, speak truth and admit when things aren't perfect.

Make an effort to get rid of your log, before you point out the speck in others.

Learning from VBS

For years I have conveniently avoided helping at VBS. I never felt like it was something I was "called" to do, so I would weasel my way out of the volunteer meetings and avoid the director like the plague.
This year, something different happened. One of my new best friends in Cali is the Children's Minister at our church. Enter VBS. And this conversation, "So...I'm looking for someone to help me at VBS, just run around and make sure people have everything they need...you interested?"  In that moment, I wanted to say no. I wanted to, I really did, but what came out was, "Sure. Yeah. Can I have a clip board?" 
In the months that followed I helped her pick a theme, I went to volunteer meetings and I helped run the decorating committee. 
Last night was the big day. Opening day. In rolled 70 kids, ages 4-12 for a week full of VBS. In the midst of running around making sure the teachers had the right papers, answering questions that I didn't know the answers to, and make sure cute little guys didn't cry, I realized something. 
VBS is fun. 
It is. Real, genuine, fun.
 These kids don't care that my hair was a mess, that my paper chain drawbridge fell down or that I had no idea what I was doing half of the time. All they cared about was that I gave 3 hours of my time to make them a portcullis from duck tape, family crests from painted pizza boxes and told them if they were scared they could hang out with me.  They only cared about the hugs, love and attention that was showered upon them for 3 hours.  For those 3 hours, they were the star attractions.  
Then I realized, this must be a little taste of how God feels when we finally understand the love and grace He has for us.  He doesn't care that our hair is a mess, that we sometimes say the wrong thing or act in a way He isn't that fond of. All that matters is that we understand that He loves us.  All that matters is for that split second we understand that His grace means we can conquer the world. 

God is always speaking, always trying to show us something new. I'm sad that I waited so long to let VBS teach me this lesson. Tonight I'll go back and patch up my paper chain drawbridge. I'll hope that no one cries for their mom, and I will wait for the next lesson these little guys can teach me. 

Cut back...

I love food. In (most) sizes, shapes and forms. Fried, grilled, baked, smothered in cheese, or icing. I love food. I always have.  I come from a long line of food lovers, you can ask my mom if you don't believe me.
And until I entered the 6th grade, I thought food loved me too. Until my pediatrician asked me what my favorite foods were and cringed when I answered, "Sprite and Cheese Pizza."
Enter the words..."Cut back." My mom, God love her, never told me I had to diet, she just told me we had to "cut back" on things like Sprite and Cheese pizza. One slice, not two, one can of Sprite, not a bottle... you get the idea. I lost weight and bought size 4 jeans and loved it! Then life happened again and I found my love for brownies, ice cream, Hershey bars and Pepsi. Now I don't wear as size 4 jean, and I hate it!

I was thinking this week, as I shimmied into my snug jeans about how I always say I'm going to cut back, but never do. Some what like I always say I'm going to have an abundance of Faith in every situation, but when the going gets tough, I get worried.  Cutting back on food is a lot like cutting back on worrying.  I am in control of what goes into my mouth, and God is in control of what happens to my life.  You would think by now I would have learned to take everything in stride. To not worry when we need new brakes or when someone unknowingly hurts my feelings, or when I get homesick, or when I long to go out and buy tons of new things, but we just don't have the money...but I haven't.  Much like my mom urging me to "cut back" in the 6th grade I find God urging me to "cut back" on the worrying.
Matthew 6:34 tells us, "So do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will take care of itself..."
This week, I've decided to cut back physically; and I've lost 3 pounds! Yay Me!
But I've also made a decision to cut back on my worrying. Whenever problems arise, I trust that God put me here for a reason and that He can take care of the extra weight.

In the next few weeks my food cut backs are going to be more interesting. I'm starting a 3 day juice fast next week. Perhaps while I'm drinking juice and watching my jeans get loose, I'll be even more confident in the physical and spiritual cut backs I'm making.

You gotta have faith!

When I was fresh out of college my dream was to interpret in Washington DC, though I encountered a few set backs on the way I finally made it. While I was there I met some awesome people, some of which I stay I touch with, but I also encountered the hardest 6 months of my life.  I was broken. My mentor wasn't the best fit for me, and I allowed her to speak heaps and bounds of negativity into my life. On one occasion she told me I should go back to college in hopes of doing something I "would be better at". Needless to say my 6 months were filled with heart ache and tears. 

On the last day of my internship I squared my shoulders and stood tall on my last interpreting assignment, at the end she said, "if you had done that all along I would have told them to hire you, but you didn't, sorry." Those might not have been her exact words, but the damage was done.

  I was defeated. No one could save me. Except for Sam, or Momma Sam as we called her in Nashville. I went home, gathered my things and drove to her office in Franklin, TN. I sat there and told her all about DC. I cried, she cried. Then she started putting the pieces back together. She spoke life into my dying heart. I interpreted with her in Nashville just long enough not to be completely broken. Then life moved on, I got a full-time gig in Paducah and then we got married and I moved to Cali. 

And then the brokenness crept in- truth be told, it never fully went away. Looking back, I needed more time with Momma Sam, hind sight is 20/20,no? 

When we moved, I convinced myself and J that I needed a break from interpreting. My heart and head was too hurt to start over. So for the past 7 months I've worked another job ignoring the longing for silence and communication at the same time. 

Until today. Today I met with an interpreter here in Fresno. And though she doesn't know it, Momma Sam saved me again. This Fresno interpreter asked me about my experiences and I told her about Sam. Turns out that Momma Sam's performance interpreting workshop almost made its way here last year. Turns out one of the people that could potentially be my employer loves Momma Sam's work. Turns out that could help me get my foot in the door, it's all about who you know ;-) 

Once again, my faith in humanity has been restored. Once again Momma Sam had something to do with it. 

I might still be a little chipped, but I'm not broken anymore and I'm on my way to being made whole. One sign at a time. 

From Folding to Fab!

This weekend J and I stayed home in an effort to recharge and save money! :-) I had a couple of DIY projects that I wanted to begin/finish; this is one of them! 

We "inherited" these folding chairs when we moved to Cali. My vintage table only had 2 chairs, not exactly good for having people over to dinner!

I had seen a couple of folding chair revamps on Pinterest- where else?! And decided to give it a try. 

In total this cost us around $16.

$8 for one yard of fabric and $8 for two cans of spray paint. 

We headed to JoAnn Fabric where J spotted this adorable vintage but yet modern fabric. 

The first step is to take off what ever cushions you have on your chairs, ours had a top piece- which screwed in. And a bottom piece- that was held in with rivets. Basically to get the rivets out you just squeeze around the base and then push them through the hole. Make sense? 

Next step was recovering the cushions. Now, I am in no way a pro at this! Lay the cushion down on the the fabric and pull it tight. I usually staple the middle section of each side first. Then just continue stapling until you're all covered up. 

The hardest part was the top cushions. They were slightly curves, something I didn't know before. Thank goodness my fabric had a bit of stretch which allowed me to cover them with out wrinkles. 

Next we took the chairs and spray painted them using Rustoleum in SatinLagoon. Spray paint has come along way! They have so many colors to choose from! 

Three very light coats was what it took for ours to go from ugly gray to fabulous teal. 

Let the chairs dry for a couple of hours. Then re-assemble.

*Because our bottom cushions had rivets- I just put an ample amount of hot glue around the rivets before shoving them through the holes. You can buy a rivet gun- but that seemed like something we didn't really need. 

J's concern is that the paint might scuff off- but hopefully we're careful! 

They look much better sitting at the table now. :-) 

Wedding Chronicles...Part 3:The Guys and Gals

 This picture sums up exactly how our wedding day was. Full of great laughter and memories.

When you plan a wedding, the first thing you do is think about who you want surrounding you on that special day.  For us it was simple. Or not so simple. You see, if we had included J's brothers our count would have been 5 each...and I didn't have 5 super close friends...so when we talked to his brothers, who were 16 at the time-they didn't exactly want to be involved in all that goes with a wedding. So-these 6 people were our constants.

I knew that I wanted to be surrounded by girls who would keep me laughing, make sure I didn't turn into a Bridezilla and were constants in my life.

Dena (lf) my Maid of Honor, was my first friend in college. We were fast friends and kept getting mixed up by all of our teachers. Even when she moved to Florida, we remained close.
Rachel, is my oldest friend, we met in the 5th grade.  She and I like to share "juicy news". She definitely kept me laughing the whole day!
TJ(rt) is my cousin, and friend. She is my secret keeper...I always call her with my news, good or bad and she's never told any thing I've told her in confidence. She is hilarious and super witty.

J's guys are equally as great and funny. Since this is my blog, I won't talk as much about them, as I did my gals!
Daniel (lf) is married to TJ. They were our youth pastors at ECC and we've spent many a night on their couch until 3 in the morning talking about life.
David met J at church around the age of 16. One of my favorite stories is how J and David would sleep with the windows open because David's mom would keep the heat up so high!
Breck (rt) is J's oldest friend.  They met when they were little. Breck and I met in college when he joined the speech team with me. We were friends, who happened to be best friends with the same guy. Breck gave one of the sweetest and most touching Best Man speeches I've ever heard at our reception.

These little cuties are my nephew, JP and my niece, AnnaMae. They were super cute and fun to have at our wedding. I joked that AnnaMae would probably end up rolling in the grass before the wedding...she didn't do that, but one of my sweetest memories was her bringing me her sweater, because she was hot, only to see a little mud spot on the back of it! I'm still not sure where that came from!

JP, looked very serious at the wedding. I later learned it was because he thought the wedding was "Like a funeral". I didn't know until later that he felt that way because he wasn't too keen on me getting married! :-)

When the day was done and all the primping and dancing was done. I was so happy that we had all of these people with us to enjoy our big day.

Speaking of AnnaMae.... this might be my favorite picture of the whole day. Something so sweet about her looking over at the big white tent. Perhaps, she was imagining her wedding...  One day, in the distant future when she gets married I hope to have this framed for her. 

 ~Just a few more reasons, why I love these people~

Wedding Chronicles Part 2...The Dress.

Little girls spend hours cutting and pasting and looking at what will one day be their dream wedding dress. And girls who are getting married, aren't any different. It took me countless hours, 4 states, and at least 5 different stores to find THE DRESS.

When I finally found it online, I was sure that it was too much money. So I tried on countless other dressing, trying to convince myself that this strapless one or that one with cap sleeves was just as good as my 3/4 dream dress.  But they weren't.

Finally, after trying on for months, I called Bridal Warehouse in Evansville, IN.  I gave the sweet girl the number off the website, she told me they had it in a size close to mine, and surprise on the day I wanted to try it on they were having a trunk show for Allure. Which meant, 20% off!

My momma and I went in, I put it on and I was instantly in love. I tried on a few more dresses, then put mine back on and cried. I knew this was the one.

 One of my favorite parts of the dress is the back. I had always wanted a dress that was lace with buttons in the back and that had sleeves. Thanks to Princess Kate, everyone in the world started designing dresses that were lace, modest and even some with sleeves!

I wanted a birdcage veil, but let me tell you they are expensive! The ones mom and I looked at were upwards of $100.

So...we made one! I bought the hat from online and then the netting at JoAnn Fabric. We spent an evening, after I had my first and amazing hair trial, pinning and sewing the netting onto the base.

 My daddy bought me that beautiful pearl and crystal bracelet you see on my wrist.One of my of my favorite things from my dress, and my girls' was our make up! My cousin Micah married a wonderfully fun and happy gal named Chantel, who just happens to be a makeup artist. As part of her present to me, she did my makeup, my momma's and all three of my girls.

  The girls all chose their own dresses. I had always wanted a mismatch of dresses for my wedding, even before it was popular! 

We searched and searched for the perfect color, finally finding it at David's Bridal in Truffle.  All of the dresses were chiffon. A material I originally hated, but loved once I saw it on the gals.

TJ and Rachel went to Evansville with my mom and TJ's mom to pick dresses. They tried on about 20 each, ok...that might be an exaggeration...but we finally narrowed it down to these two.

TJ had just had her 3rd little girl about a month before the wedding, but you certainly can't tell it!

Rachel is one of my oldest, and best friends. I was very glad to have her share my day with me. In true Rachel fashion, she wore what my momma told her looked best! She's always been like my sister, so when Mom told her this was the dress for her, she bought it on the spot. It truly was a great fit.

Thank God the weather was perfect, otherwise they might have all been freezing. But our 70 degree day was perfect for chiffon and sleeveless!

                                                                 Dena's dress was one that I had originally picked out for all the girls to wear. But when we, myself included, tried it on...it didn't look right!

Dena lives in Florida, so she wasn't with us when we went to sort through the dresses. However, when she sent me a picture from her trying on spree in Florida, we both knew this was her dress!

She was the only one who didn't have sparkles or beading, so I purchased a vintage amber and crystal brooch for her to pin on her dress. Each of my gals ROCKED their chosen dresses. And they were loose enough that they could eat and dance their hearts out!

Of all the pictures of me in my dress, this one is my favorite. A little bit sassy... :-)

Wedding Chronicles...The Flowers

A wedding is the biggest day of a little girl's life. Mine was no different. I planned and pinned and repined and schemed for months. Then I planned and dreamed and talked some more. Finally it was time to actually DO something. My momma and I made mountains of homemade jam, marmalade, and apple butter.
Then I printed tags and tied and cut...until we had about 90 or so of these delicious little homemade lovelies.

One thing that I learned about planning a wedding of your dreams, was that it's so much easier with an amazing venue to start with. Ours was to die for! Even without all the little details and fresh flowers and freshly planted mums, it was gorgeous. I can never thank our friends enough for letting use it for our big day!
For a girl who dreams in vintage, being surrounded by reclaimed brick. Old wrought iron and vintage church pews, was all I would have ever dreamed.


One of my favorite wedding planning moments was the evening I spent with my cousin Jamie, my florist, explaining and dreaming and throwing out every flower I had ever dreamed of. Which resulted in tons and tons of fresh flowers!



When Jeffrey came home from Cali I asked him to drive with to to deliver the blue Mason jars to Jamie for her to put the centerpieces in. She took us into the cooler at work to show me all the wonderful flowers that were waiting for us. When we left, Jeffrey looked at me and said, "Are ALL THOSE flowers ours?" Haha!!
The centerpieces were mainly ivory hydrangeas, sunflowers, and button mums. 

My bouquet was so beautiful that when my cousin Micah brought it in for me to see, I cried. Mine was a mix of ivory hydrangeas, green hypericum berries, wax flowers, orange calla lilies, purple status, wheat (which my mom thought was crazy, but ended up loving) and some other random leaves, berries, twigs!!

Here it is, with a sneak peek of my dress....sigh!

The bridesmaid's bouquets, were equally as beautiful and just about as heavy! They were a mix of dahalias, purple status, sunflowers, hypericum berries and wheat.  Each bouquet was wrapped in some of the same lace that we used for the table runners.

The Guy's boutonnieres were all different. Jeffrey's was the only one that had wheat. The mothers, grandma, flowergirl and guest book gals all had little wrist corsages. With the exception of my mom, who pinned hers to her clutch.

The flowers couldn't have been more gorgeous. Including the two that went on our arbor in front of the church. My cousin Jamie worked for days on these and everything else. She wrapped anything that would stand still in honeysuckle vine and topped this arbor with sunflowers, button mums, eucalyptus leaves and my favorite...Cattails!! A simple reminder to me of my grandparents very country roots!

It's been awhile!

Hello Friends!

It has been a while since I've written. My last post was a simple chronicle about how excited I was to sit down and eat at our wedding off all the wonderful china we collected!
Let me tell you, it was a WONDERFUL DAY!!

I'm currently working on a little overview of that great day, so until then, you can check out my Guest Post that I wrote for my friend Jordan at her LilyWhite blog here.