Light. Dark.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome^[a] it.

John 1:5

Darkness and Light. Two polar opposites. One cannot exist where the other lives. There can not be both darkness and light in the same place. There can be light with shadow, but never light and darkness.

In the past few weeks I have come to appreciate the fact that God promises that no matter how dark the situation the darkness can never stand when the light is turned on. 

For many years I have lived in the view of what I thought was pure light. Only to realize in the last few weeks that the light was actually shadow. Not complete darkness, but a covering of how bright the light could have been. In the presence of shadow, fear and deception grows. How many times have we felt uneasy in a shadowed room than in a completely dark room? 

The shadow of what could have been pure blinding light, is worse than seeing pure darkness. Because shadows are deceptive. They mask things and make them seem as though they are something they are not. 

But yet, the Bible tells us that we can abide in the Shadow of the Almighty.  So just as there is good darkness. There are good shadows. Some times they are a covering for our eyes to adjust.  A covering for our hearts and spirits to get adjusted to what we are about to see. Like how you always wish someone would warn you before flipping on the light after you have sat in a darkened room too long. 

The Shadow of the Almighty is a covering. A pure and priceless gift given by the Father to protect us. 

But sometimes shadow is just that. A movement from light to dark. A mask that takes us from one area to another.

The Light shines in the Darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 

Because not matter how hard it tries. Dark cannot over take Light. Once the Light is turned on...

Light always wins. 

Some times it might be painful. Like the way your eyes hurt when the lights are turned on. 

But Light. Always. Wins. 

Light always shines in the darkness. The darkness. Cannot over take the Light. The Light Always Wins. 

Powerful People, Powerful Decisons.

Last Monday, I was basking in the glow of seeing my fiance for the first time in seven months!! Well, technically I saw him on Sat, but you get the idea. 

One thing I was excited about was getting to go to school with him. J goes to Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in Redding.  Going with him was the highlight of my week. I can't explain how awesome it feels to be introduced to people who say, "Oh it's YOU! So great to finally meet you!" I love knowing that J is talking about me to people. I met a TON of great people and got LOTS of hugs!

On Monday, Danny Silk, who is the family and marriage pastor at Bethel was speaking.  He got up and started fielding questions from the students.  Little did I know, that in one question Danny would rock my thinking forever. A girl stood up and asked him, what the key to successful relationships was. Danny said this.

"You have to have two Powerful People, making Powerful Decisions,to LOVE." 

Mind blown. 

He went on to explain that if you only have one powerful person and one who doesn't view them selves as powerful you automatically set up a Victim relationship. One person (the powerful one) will have to over compensate for the others victim mentality.

The past few weeks I've been exposed to the reality of what happens when one person views themselves as a victim, and not powerful.  The reality is, that when you view each other as Powerful- you trust each other to be powerful. 

So from today on, I encourage you to start making Powerful decisions to LOVE. No matter who you are loving. Each decision you make is Powerful, because the Bible tells us that through Jesus, we are more than conquerors. 

Choose to be Powerful not a victim. Make your decisions count, not count against you.

Faith. Full

Blogging is cathartic for me. I love to hear the type on the keys or on iPhone. While some things are meant to be written in ink. Sometimes it's faster to log it here.
When I was at Bethel -J's Cali church- last Sunday Eric Johnson, one of the pastors encouraged us to close our eyes and think about the faithfulness of God. As I stood in our new home church holding hands with my fiancé I began to watch the story of Hods faithfulness unfold before my eyes. The sweetness of His presence in my life is overwhelming.
Today has been a hard day. The overwhelming feelings of things that are happening around me compounded with the nearness of J being taken away has left me in tears most of the night.
But a quick text to my bestie reminded me of the pure faithfulness of God. He promises never to leave me or forsake me. That His plans are much higher than mine. That He cares for me much more than He cares for the sparrows and they never go hungry.
He has already seen me crying in my bedroom asking Him to be faithful once again. And He, unlike me gets a sneak peak into the next season of his faithfulness. And for that I am entirely grateful!

Easter Sunday.

Is today. This is the first time in my life that I haven't been to church on Easter Sunday. I haven't always been with my family on Easter, but I've always been in church. Today Jesus had different plans. We encountered a dead battery last night when we landed in St. Louis. All of the people I knew where out of town. So as I sat on my hotel bed alternating between laughing and crying, I began mentally flipping through the people I knew. I landed on my summer job boss, Tim. But knew his son Caleb, who I'm sure would have helped was probably at home with his mom and dad. Somehow the connection to Tim made me think of Joe. Joe drives our truck from St. Louis to Eldorado every Wednesday during the summer. So I took a chance. I facebooked Joe. Within 2 minutes he had answered. Offering to come pick me up if I needed it. We decided that Sunday at 9 would work for him to come help us. A few hours and laughs later. Mel had a new battery and we were on the way.

My heart wanted to be in church. But Jesus is risen regardless of whether I'm in church or not. He's alive. He lives in me. So I celebrated this Easter. My 24th Easter was celebrated on the road. Away from my family. Away from church. But I'm ok with that.

He is alive. The same power that raised him from the grave lives in me. Everyday. He guides me. Not just on Easter. Every day. Happy happy Easter!!!

Sad day. Blessed day.

Jesus. Loves. Me.
Today was one of the hardest days I've had in a while. Today I said Goodbye to my fiancé again. This past week I got to spend pretty much every waking moments with him. Which only made me fifty thousand times more excited to marry him in October!! I met his roommates and got to see the place we'll call home in a few months. But today. Today was the Goodbye day. I woke up at 7 and as soon as I saw him the tears started. We have a rule that I can only cry while I'm with him (and a little on the plane/car home).
It's our rule because I think it hurts him more when I cry and he's not around to comfort me.
So I cried. A lot. I cried in the airport bathroom. And on the plane.
Then. We landed in Denver. Ran through the airport catch our connection to St. Louis. And that's when it happened. I'm sure God was just smiling at me. The flight we were on was overbooked. So they needed some people to give up their flights. My friend Melissa and I jumped at the chance. We ran to the counter. Exchanged our tickets for later ones and United gave us each $200 ticket vouchers!!

Friends. This means that on the day I had to say Goodbye to my best friend, I got a free ticket to go back and see him!!! Jesus. Loves. Me.