Grace. 2011

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

   bind them around your neck,

   write them on the tablet of your heart.

 Then you will win favor and a good name

   in the sight of God and man."   Proverbs 3:3-4

Write them on the tablet of your heart. Put them down on paper. Blog about them. So you will never forget. Where I have brought you. Never forget what I have done for you. Never forget how you felt, or the way that I stood with you. Never forget what I have taught you.

                         This past year has been quite an interesting one for me. New revelations, new friends, new job, new relationship status, new church...the list goes on and on. But to understand where I am. I have to look back to where I came from.

2011 was a year full of both good and bad. Those always seem to go hand in hand. It's almost like God sees something bad has happened (not because He did it or let it, that's another post) and then He says, "Hey, look at this "Good and Perfect Gift" I'll give you.

At the very beginning of 2011 Jeffrey had just come back from Bethel. He was so excited to be home, excited to share what he had learned with everyone he knew. He got the opportunity to speak at the church we'd both attended for almost our whole life. The opportunity to tell people about the great God we serve and let God show off.  Words will never, ever describe the feeling you get seeing your future husband let God show off through him. The feeling of a healing that you've seen with your own eye is indescribable. Mostly I remember just sitting on the front row and laughing.  Then it happened.  Fast forward to the next Sunday morning. The day is etched in my mind, written on the tablet of my heart. Grace. Rebuke. Betrayal.

Those seem like harsh words, but that is exactly what my heart felt as I heard the whispers that surrounded us for the next months. Then like a sweet fragrance~ an engagement. A new job, new town, new life.

A good and perfect gift. Grace.

You see, while this year has been full of people spreading unfair and untrue lies about Jeffrey and I; the Bible tells me that where "sin abounds, Grace much more abounds"... That means that in the midst of people lying and judging us (which is a sin...sorry) that the Grace of God much more abounds.  Much more~an over abundance of Grace. Summer of 2011 brought Jeffrey home, it felt as though we were Much More covered in Grace. As though God let us say, "I told you so". God allowed us to look back and laugh at the lies people told about us. He allowed us to always see the truth. We spend all summer spreading that same Much More Grace to our friends.

Fall of 2011 took Jeffrey back to Bethel, and me back to Paducah. Where I found a wonderful accepting, Grace filled church.  Learning to trust people was so hard. Learning to forgive those who speak badly about us is even harder. But as 2011 comes to an end, I can honestly say- I have.

In that forgiveness, God has shown me that He Much, More Abounds.

I can't wait to see what 2012 will bring. One thing I know for sure is that His Grace has made me perfect enough to accept whatever Gifts He chooses to give me.

Grace. Pure and Simple.

Letters

I keep old emails. And old letters too. But mostly emails, because, well...that's what most people send now a days. (Something I want to personally reverse, so look for a letter in the mail soon)

One reason I keep them, is because I love to look back and see just how God uses people in my life to encourage me and sometimes to knock a little sense into me. In life, there will always be ups and downs, rights and wrongs, easy times and hard ones. In those interruptions is where God speaks the most. He is often and always found in the interruptions of life, something my cousin Micah is always quick to remind me.

Tonight I re~read some sweet encouraging emails from an adopted momma in my life. And I was reminded of just how far God has brought me. She compared my story to that of Ezra, a Biblical character that I know very little about, but I am determined to see how the end of Ezra's story compares to the next chapter in mine.

About an hour ago, we decided on a date for our wedding day. A decision that makes me both extremely happy and nervous at the same time. The cloak of responsibility will now rest on Jeffrey's shoulders, we will be responsible for each other. And much like Ezra, we are setting out on our own journey. Refusing the King's soldiers, in trust that our God will see us through.

But I know that no matter where this journey will take us, there will always be my nation of supporters ready to lend an encouraging word. They will be just a letter away. And in the dark nights of despair and panic, your emails will sit waiting in my inbox, ready for me to review and renew my hope in all things. So thank you.

Thank you for typing, or writing, for reading and commenting on this journey I call life.

-H

On the front porch...

When I left for college my momma had all the special people in my life place special letter, or memento in a box for me to take. A few months ago I found that box again, and among the sweet sweet letters was a very special one. It was a small short letter from my cousin Micah. It had been attached to a fake plastic martini glass-that now holds brooches in my room. You see, when we were younger every few months we would buy those ugly plastic drinking glasses to "drink" out of...our drink of choice was Sprite and Orange Sherbet.

Micah's letter was short and sweet. It said something like this. "When the travels of your life are over, remember there is no place like home. I'll meet you there, on my momma's front porch and we'll have a Sprite together, and drink in the sweetness that is home."

He's right, there is nothing like that moment where you miss home. I've experienced it a few times. But never fails something can always make you feel like home. For me, that is gospel music. Micah sang Southern Gospel when I was growing up, and boy do I miss hearing him belt it out. 

Something about those great Gaither singers can always take me back to a simpler place and time. A time where all I had to worry about was if Micah was going to pick the glass I liked  to drink from.

Time has separated us, but home is a place that will always be in our hearts.  I'll meet you on your momma's front porch....

How lucky we are...

I work at an elementary school. Some days I feel like I should be IN elementary school. Those days are when things go wrong...my hands and voice hurt from signing/speaking too loudly, yes it is possible to sign loudly. Then there are days like today...days when a little ray of sunshine can be found in a little girls eye. When children play together nicely and my job is sweet and full of beautifully composed ASL sentences.

These children teach me more about the love of my Heavenly Father than I would have ever thought. Some of them are dirty, smelly and have no way to get anywhere. Some of them are abandoned, live life with out parents and are yearning for attention. Some of them are defiant and down-right mean. Day by day I find God showing me one more "grown-up" characteristic in each of these children.  The tattle-tale will probably become the town gossip when they grow up. The cry baby- the person who always gets their feelings hurt when you don't talk to them immediately. They are smaller versions of who we become. Smaller versions of those people who have hurt me in my life. Smaller versions of me.
So how in the would can they melt my heart so quickly? How can I not care about their dirty clothes when I pull them in for a hug? L.O.V.E.

Each day I get to plant little seeds of the Father's love in their hearts. Most days, I'm happy to go to my job. Happy to come home empty, happy to be filled up with more love, so that I can give it out.
Maybe, just maybe, I'll remember this when I encounter the "grown-up" versions of them in my "not at school life"....

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ² now, and what we will be. Beloved, we are God’s children has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears^[a] we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. ³And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure." 1 John 3:1-3

"When Heaven....

..Invades Earth..."  

 

                               I just started reading this yesterday. For some reason, I started in the back of the book. I never, ever do this. I always like to read things front to back and never out of sequence. Ever. 

Jeffrey had to read this before he got to Bethel.  Already I've learned a lot. Like how God wants to change the way we think about life. How we are suppose to walk in the Spirit everyday. and how new, will always be just that new. God loves us, but let's face it. He's God. There's no way we'll ever understand Him or the order of things He does.  We can't even figure out why He gave us a gallbladder that we sometimes don't need.... He's God. As much as we would like it, He's probably not going to call you and give you a heads-up when He starts to do something new. 
                              Revival is always looked at as new, and sometimes strange. The key to true revival is that it should live in your hearts and lives. Not just in a church or just in a meeting. In our hearts. Everyday.  
How cool would it be if we walked with the Holy Spirit everyday, in everything we did. I'm an interpreter. I completely believe that one day people will request me, because they'll know my God can heal. Can you imagine?? Divorce lawyers who help their clients restore relationships? Psychologist who can pray and deliver clients in a few hours? Medical doctors who can raise the dead? Florist who can prophesy over their clients? Fashion designers who point the world to God.
This is what my generation desires. This is who we are. This is who we are becoming. This is Heaven...on Earth. God in us. the hope of glory.
 

Revealed

At least once a week I get to listen to an amazing revelation that Jeffrey has heard in class, or from one of his housemates and Oh how I have learned!  Much to J's chagrin, I get to learn the good stuff, without sitting through all the "boring stuff".  In the past few months I have slowly began to learn about how deep the Father's love is for me. I grew up singing "Jesus Loves Me",  but somewhere in there, I think we should add a verse..."yes, Jesus loves me-no matter what I've done. Yes, Jesus loves me, He tells me I'm His one. Yes, Jesus loves me, through His grace I have won..."  The love that the Father has for us is far more imaginable than anything  we could ever hope to know. 

And speaking of love...Just about two weeks ago, I got a beautiful symbol of love from that boy of mine. Handcrafted and made just for me. Much like we are crafted and made for God, one of a kind. 

Wedding date is pending, but I can't wait to wrap myself in white(or ivory) and walk down the aisle to start my Great Adventure with Jeffrey at my side. 

If you don't understand the kind of love I'm talking about, ask God to show you. He will, He delights in it.